7 (Tongue-In-Cheek) Tactics To Join The Billionaire Club

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Sure. You need a LOT of money to become a billionaire. How can that be accomplished with just a few select tactics?

Yes, you would typically need a lot of money to become a billionaire. But wait! There really are possible ways to become a billionaire, even if  <cough, cough — cue the hard-to-read, fine print please> they’re not probable or even desirable. So there’s at least some truth in advertising here. Plus, it never hurts to dream, right? Even if it’s just “Dream On.” This is, of course, meant entirely in a light-hearted manner. But here’s my starter list, and feel free to add your own ideas in the comments below. Forget the rake, get the snow blower out and start blasting the dough into your money-sacks now!

  1. Marry a billionaire or the ruler of a rich country.
  2. Plunk down a few bucks on the lottery when it reaches 1.7 billion dollars and be the only winner.
  3. Wait until days of hyper-inflation come upon us and money becomes worthless, then begin your dollar accumulation.
  4. Write a super-sob story to some billionaires begging them for money.
  5. Befriend a billionaire so that they bequeath all of their estate to you. “I made my money the old-fashioned way. I was very nice to a wealthy relative right before he died.” — Malcolm Forbes
  6. Mine the next cryptocurrency before the bubble starts.
  7. Invent something in your garage that everyone wants to buy and make sure you have a good marketing and manufacturing plan that continues to grow like Amazon, Facebook, Google and Apple.

Ok, I admit that at least some of these ideas aren’t practical </sarcasm>. And except for the garage invention idea, none of these lay out a path where you make money for yourself through hard work and ingenuity. Of course they don’t, because there’s really no reasonable way to acquire billions on the scrap. Then again, if you do happen to follow one of these suggestions successfully, please don’t forget where you got the inspiration! Then I can add another item to my list: “Write a blog post suggesting how people can become billionaires and hint that they should at least give you a nice recognition cut.” Obviously, I haven’t succeeded with any of these recommendations myself yet.

However stretched this is, this exercise isn’t all that much different for those who are behind financially but desire to gain monetary sufficiency. It’s not readily attainable if you simply don’t make the necessary income to reach such a lofty goal. Yes, people can live as frugally as possible to save more of what they earn, and they certainly should if they’re regularly in the red. The spending side of the budget-equation needs to be straightened out for a lot of people, no question. Amend Your Spending: Live Below Your Means. But if one does not have adequate means to put aside a good deal of money, if they do not have the resources and the income to retain a substantial portion, they are not going to reach financial sufficiency very easily.

Then there’s the situational aspect of the equation that keeps people in the poorhouse, for which examples are endless. Here are just a few:

  • Poor health and exorbitant medical bills
  • Disabled and unable to work a regular job
  • Sizable legal obligations
  • Support a large family on one income
  • Family member(s) necessitates considerable expenditures
  • Spent years wasting money (and now it’s too late or too difficult to reverse course in any meaningful way)
  • Spent years in incarceration
  • Blew a fortune in the family business through mismanagement
  • Lost a bundle through speculative investments or timing the market
  • Lost your life’s savings through theft, hacking, stupidity … any number of causes.

So both lack of income and life circumstances can greatly hinder one’s economic situation, and improving upon it is just part of a wish-list.

I recently watched a video by a well-known money-savings hawk. In it, he interviewed a man who had just retired at a young age. On one hand, he spoke about his frugal lifestyle — a sensible example for most watching. But, on the other hand, he and his wife (2 incomes and no kids) squirreled away a substantial amount of money along with that frugality to retire early.

In the comments to the video, someone asked, “Well, he saved twice what I bring home in a month, so how does this benefit me?” That’s the point here. The story emphasized good spending habits. But once it was factored in that they had amassed a small fortune in savings as a result of frugality AND income, it deflated the viewers — who tossed out the whole thing as hopeless. They read the title and focused on the hope that maybe they could accomplish the same goal which was totally unrealistic in their case.

So, this is just a reminder that, with our emphasis on reaching financial goals, there are those with lower incomes or unfortunate circumstances out there as well, and there always will be. They also need practical advice with attainable goals to live sparingly and save what they can. It’s even more of a benefit for them than it is for those who can tweak a few lifestyle patterns and gain sufficiency in a few years. Not everyone can retire early (and, let’s face it, that’s worth at least a billion in happiness to some people). So some of the effort is better served in relieving financial burdens with adjusted goal-setting.

Here, then, are 7 Key Steps To Glide Ahead Of The Money Curve for those who need a good start on repairing their financial status.

But if you can or have achieved financial sufficiency? Congratulations on a job well done!

 

Thanks for reading! Please join the discussion and leave a comment below.


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2 Replies to “7 (Tongue-In-Cheek) Tactics To Join The Billionaire Club

  1. Hi HCEG,

    >> In the comments to the video, someone asked, “Well, he saved twice what I bring home in a month, so how in the world do you expect someone like me to benefit from this?” <<

    As you point out, the main issue is that person who posted this comment was comparing himself and his life to the person in the video. Bad move, always leads to disappointment and heartache.

    What is needed IMHO is a person to compare themselves to their previous self, or to where they want to be. For example, what changes can I make to make MY life better?. Comparing to the person in the video is a form of self-depredation.

    In my view, the first law of money is "In The Beginning, You Save." Save and cover your expenses, then invest. Invest slowly, invest cautiously.

    Early retirement is a "nice" idea but believe me, it is not for everyone. The sacrifices requried may not suit everyone, but emotionally and financially.

    Best wishes!

    1. Yes, that’s such a good point. I plan to submit another post from that perspective. It’s easy to be frustrated by the success of others if you’re unable to duplicate it. Unfortunately, many of the success stories assume that everyone else can do what they did, and that’s not true. I see that time and again in various articles, and that does cause people to become a bit jaded (and that’s why they compare themselves). Still, if they would apply the principles then they might just be a lot better off than they would otherwise be, even if they can’t meet the same goals (in this case, early retirement). But I think there could be more empathy at times toward those who don’t have the means to reach the same heights.

Thanks for reading! What say you?